the idea of remembering and forgetting
I find it interesting what we decide to remember and what we decide to forget. Don’t you? And I say “decide” because we do. We pick and choose what we wish to know, we see what we wish to see and remember those things, all while forgetting the rest. Sometimes our mind acts on its own accord and forget things without our knowledge. Those are always the most interesting of our forgotten memories because something deep within us no longer wanted us to remember them. At times, we often suppress our darkest memories and decide to only remember the good, because the bad was just too painful to ever relive again. These are the moments in which our subconscious mind speaks volumes.
Then sometimes we try our hardest to forget things that we are ashamed of or that we regret and find embarrassing that it ever happened to us, but for some reason we can never forget those things no matter how hard we try. We may seem to forget for a moment or for days and weeks and years, but then something will trigger whatever memory we thought we’d long forgotten and all of the images and feelings come rushing back. We scrabble with ourselves and try to force the memory back to wherever we hid it for years and sometimes that works. Other times the memory is so strong that we just have to let it pass before it can be shoved back into the depths of our conscious minds.
And then we remember. We remember what we want to remember, but only in fragmented pieces. Because there are some things that are easily forgotten or pushed aside because it wasn’t the thing we wanted to remember. Our memories are always changing, but it’s only those little moments that were so great that we recall with such detail. Like the arch of your eyebrow when you looked at me or the way you answered my questions with a smile instead of words, because somehow I was picking up on something no one else you had ever met in your entire life sought to pick on. Those moments are the special ones, even if we only remembered them in pieces.