aerialovely

  • ← back to tiffany julia
  • the lovely shop
    • Cut Files & Templates
    • Printables
      • Cards & Ephemera
      • Full Journaling Kits
      • Journaling Printables
      • Papers
      • Stickers
    • Ebooks + Zines
    • Music
  • courses
    • view all courses
    • free classes
  • journal archive
  • Login
0
✩ musings

loving yourself first

March 16, 2013
loving yourself first

I’ve encountered this quote, saying, proverb, whatever it so happens to be, a lot recently. Course, it was always phrased differently, either rearranged or with words substituted for other words, but all the meanings were the same: you have to love yourself first before you can love others. I personally don’t know how true this is, but I can see how it may be, given my observations of the human race, my own personal experience and simple common sense.

I suppose if you aren’t in love with yourself, you aren’t happy. Note, I’m using the term “in love” and the word “happy” synonymously here. Because being in love with someone or something makes you happy, so much so that you forget all faults. So to be in love with yourself, you are essentially happy with yourself, with who you are. And I suppose that leads to contentment, thereby allowing others in on your happiness, if you so choose. And in turn, they will be happy with who you are too.

But not all of us are happy with ourselves. If human nature has proven anything, it’s shown us that we as humans are never fully content about anything. We always have to find fault with something, especially with ourselves. Insecurity is probably the leading factor in all of our decision making, whether we are consciously aware of it or not. There’s just always something wrong with us, because we perceive ourself based on how society judges people. We see someone who’s described by the general public as being really pretty, yet we aren’t half as pretty as that person, so we can never be beautiful. We degrade our own beauty and aren’t happy with how we look. In turn, we feel we need to fix it. Yet, what we so often forget is that not everyone sees beauty in the same way. Just because the general public thinks that person is pretty, doesn’t mean that everyone does. I suppose it’s these realities we need to remember, so we don’t get lost in a world of superficiality.

Yet, in being unhappy with ourselves, we usually gravitate to relationships that generally might make us happy. I mean, we all feel better about ourselves when there’s someone else who likes us for whatever reasons. Because as humans, it’s in our nature to get people to like us. We all just want to be liked. But someone does like us–love us even and if we feel the same, we are instantly happy. But once that whole infatuation stage of being in a relationship fades, usually you have to work at keeping the relationship going. Often times, this is the part where all the self doubt comes in. Or maybe you’re both content and just stay in that contentment until someone gets bored? But for the most part, something happens, someone becomes unhappy or something, and it’s usually because that person has prior issues with themselves and hinder any growth in a relationship whatsoever.

In the end, I can’t make you happy. Though, I suppose I could if you were madly in love with me, but if you aren’t happy with yourself, then there will come a time when your fondness of me will fade and my radiance will no longer have the power to fuel your happiness. In which case, I don’t want to try to change myself just to suit your own happiness. If I’m happy with myself, I don’t want to deal with your unhappiness. I don’t want to feel obligated to making you happy. Because in this situation, you will never be happy with me if you aren’t already happy with yourself. That and most people generally don’t want to deal with other people’s problems.

TAGS:my thoughts

Leave a Comment Cancel Comment

Previous Post
just a few hours
Next Post
love = love
tiffany julia
Get To Know Me

Get To Know Me

Hi! I'm Tiffany, an art deviant living in New York City. Welcome to my site of life, crafts and love.

Current Location

Current Location

new york, ny

Currently Reading

Light is the New Black: A Guide to Answering Your Soul's Callings and Working Your Light

Rebecca Campbell

.
44%

Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within

Janet Conner

.
42%

All About Love: New Visions

bell hooks

.
38%

Life

Journaling

Memory Keeping

Unraveling

Wanderlust

site information

Please do not take anything from this site. All content is © Tiffany Julia at aerialovely.com, unless otherwise stated. Please read my site policies for more information.

buy me a sweet treat

Follow on Feedly

View
Open
I shared a quick process of creating this spread in my @daphnes.diary scrapbook on my Youtube channel the other day. I haven't been very good at sharing these pages (or any journal pages) here lately. TBH, I've kind of been focusing on other things recently and doing more straight writing journaling than creative journaling. It's weird. I'm in a weird space. But I also feel like I'm supposed to be in this space, you know?
View
Open
I shared the quick process of creating this spread in my @daphnes.diary scrapbook on my Youtube channel the other day. I'm quite behind in sharing all of these pages (and to be honest quite behind in actually documenting my last few weeks) but it is what it is. I'm not stressing it...just like how I'm not stressing that I'm MONTHS behind in my 5-year journal lol. Glad I've been daily journaling in my planner! xx
View
Open
My new (small) TBR book stack for this year. I have it to hopefully read 20 books this year, but I decided to only pull out about 10 to see if I can get through that first. Y'all, I'm terrible at reading these days. I think I just need to do better at making time for it, so I started reading before bed. We'll see how it goes. Friend me on Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/aerialovely! I love seeing everyone's challenges! xx
View
Open
I absolutely adore this passage about Spring from Jeanette Winterson.

Happy Astrological New Year! xx
View
Open
Baby boy is 15 years old today! He's no little boy anymore, but a fine old senior dog (actually I think technically he's geriatric). He's definitely slowed down quite a bit with his thyroid problem and just general old age. C19 has definitely been really hard on him. He was struggling with his hyperactive thyroid all through 2020 and no one could figure out why he was so sad and blah until mid-2021 when he got properly diagnosed. But since being on his meds, he's got that puppy spirit again! He does have some separation anxiety now and literally needs to be with people constantly. But that's a given especially since there's always someone home now for him to be with. But it's getting better though! The absolute highlight of his week though is going over to our neighbor's apartment every Tuesday as I tutor one of the girls in math. He gets SO happy then because he gets to play lol. HBD Joey! xx
View
Open
Driftwood—documenting the signs and synchronicities I see in my life. I'm paying attention to these little coincidences of life. At the beginning of the year, I took @gabbybernstein's manifestation challenge and she had us choose something to be our sign so that whenever we see it, it's a sign from the Universe that what we want is actually on the way. I chose "seeing hearts" because it felt right and aligned with my guiding word for the year, Heart. Gabby asked us to keep a list of all the driftwood we collect, and my god have I been seeing hearts. And while what I desire might not happen right away, I feel like this is the Universe’s way of telling me to trust—to let go and trust.

Into the unraveling journal it all goes. Happy Friday loves. xx
  • privacy
  • terms
  • about
  • contact
  • treat me

© 2022 aerialovely is loved and cared for by Tiffany Julia